Disclaimer: None of it's true! Seriously, this isn't serious.
The Mantralaya fire that broke out at 3 p.m. on Thursday in Mumbai was horribly mistimed, according to reliable sources. Startling news yet to be revealed as part of the CBI’s, in their own words, “unbiased investigation” was related by a CBI official to this news body.
“We
have strong reason to believe that the infamous Rebecca Black is the mastermind
behind this entire thing. However, we are yet to figure out jurisdiction
problems.” He secretively revealed after much persuasion.
Black’s
single “Friday-the worst song ever” is speculated to actually be a coded
message to her cohorts in India. “It was not supposed to go viral!” is what she
is alleged to have said exasperatedly to the friend who’s by her right, yeh-eh.
Read: right-hand-man.
An
intricate plan of deception and greed is revealed on digging deeper into her
would-be secret message.
“It’s just so obvious!” is what Mr.
Prithviraj Chavan, CM, Maharashtra said, throwing his hands up agitatedly while
giving us a statement. “How the CBI missed it until now is mind-boggling.”
What
they missed is Black’s brazen words. “Which seat can I take?” says it all.
The
Adarsh Scam, which was the reason for one Chavan’s accession and the other’s
ouster, seems to have been targeted in an in-genius plan to wipe out all
relative documents. The sheer stupidity an over-optimism of the act seems to
have led CBI directly to Black.
“Na
rahega baas, na bajegi bansuri” seems to have caught the musical Black’s
fantasy. Allegedly a die-hard Ashok Chavan supporter, she figured that once the
documents were gone, Prithviraj’s seat would be hers to give to Ashok.
But
everything did not go as planned. The fire was premature!
The
fire was supposed to break out at 7 a.m. on Friday, the 22nd of
June, it has been confirmed. Black’s first line, “7 a.m., waking up in the
morning,” implies a desire to wake the city up with a bang at the indicated
time.
The
bomb is yet undiscovered at the Mantralaya, but then, perhaps her friends did
not adhere to her every direction rigidly. “Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s
rushing” seems to very obviously point to an explosive with a timer.
“It’s
Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday,” is directly indicative of getting him
down on Friday.
Black seems to have been big on
numerology. The 22nd was fixed because of his being the 22nd
CM of Maharashtra. 6+2+0+1+2 (June 2012) = 11, which is the exact half of 22!
And of course, it’s Friday.
Ironically, this song was blaring
out of the CBI official’s radio as we asked him for a statement. “Kicking in the front seat, sitting in the
back seat..”
What remains to be seen is the
actual prosecution of this ‘singer’. Meanwhile, the CM lives in fear of his
seat being sat on, or worse, kicked.
Haha good job with the lyrics manipulation!!! :)
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